Field of Science

Defeat Roy Moore for Governor in Alabama

Human Events™ - Headquarters of the Conservative Underground - sent me this email from Judge Roy Moore of Alabama. He's running for governor in 2010. My comments in red:
Dear friend, [Well, I'm signed up on their email-list to get the inside scoop, but trust they wouldn't call me 'friend' if they got to know me.]

My name is Roy Moore and you may know me for the battle I waged over a display of the Ten Commandments. [Sure, we remember you were unanimously removed from office by Alabama's Court of the Judiciary in 2003. (I admit I had to look that up.)]

I recently made one of the biggest decisions of my life. I want to tell you personally why I have decided to seek the Republican nomination for Governor of Alabama. [Okay, I can understand why that is a big decision, but he also ran (and lost) in 2006.]

Today I am writing to ask you for your help.

I have chosen to run, quite simply, because our country is careening off course. And neither President Obama nor his advisors have the foggiest notion how to steer her back. [Is there a template that prospective governors use when they write these letters?]

We face challenges in every sphere of American life today-economic challenges, social challenges, foreign policy challenges, leadership challenges, corruption challenges, and challenges to our freedoms. [Don't forget tolerance challenges, equality challenges, universal health insurance challenges, and challenges to the American way of defending the rich against the the rest.]

Please take a moment to support my candidacy by pledging your support. [How about I "support" you through blogging? I saved the whales that way, you know.]

When Barack Obama was elected to the office of President, he promised change - well, we got change! - change social and ecnomic [sic!] conservatives can't believe in, can't live with, and cannot in good conscience pass on to our children and grandchildren. [Well, you know, democracy has a way of ruling against the minority. But don't worry, universal health care will cover conservative bigots all the same.]

My likely Democratic opponent will be Rep. Artur Davis, a good friend of Barack Obama since their days together at Harvard Law School. [Yeah!]

As a good friend of mine said, "Davis fully supports the insanity being promoted by Obama's administration. He's cheering it on. He's supporting it in Congress. He will no doubt be the beneficiary of millions of dollars in campaign contributions from the Obama machine." [What insanity? Everything in the Obama administration is just insane? Like shutting down Gitmo?]

Thats why I'm writing you today, to ask for your support. I know you love America just as much as I do. I'm proud of our godly heritage, our accomplishments, and our form of government. [And proud of never having had a passport, I can only assume. Take a look at the world around you for a different perspective. (I know the world outside America isn't one of the biggest interests of many American conservatives.]

As a graduate of West Point and a Vietnam veteran I knew men who gave their lives for our country. We must not allow others to take from us the rights and liberties for which they died. Duty, Honor, and Country are more than meaningless words and phrases; they give us our national framework and set our country apart, as a city shining on a hill. [Here comes the CV. West Point. Vietnam veteran. Nothing is more esteemed in Alabama than that.]

As former Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, I have the highest regard for the United States Constitution and our state Constitution, both of which every elected official in my state is sworn to uphold. The Bill of Rights was meant to protect our rights of life, liberty and property. We cannot give it up without a fight. [I assume Rep. Artur Davis' regard for those comes in second. That would then be "mediocre regard" for the constitutions.]

Finally, as a husband, father of four, and President of the Foundation for Moral Law in Montgomery, Alabama, I have fought aggressively to eliminate pornography, crime, and drugs while upholding the most critical building block of our society, the traditional family. [This is the juicy bit. Wanna bet that Moore will go missing in Argentina or will be soliciting favors in an airport restroom within the next year? Seems like the Foundation for Moral Law is all about Moore's Ten Commandments display.]

I am prepared to fight. I hope you will join me. [I though he was going to say "pray you will join me."]

Your generous gift will help me restore faith, family, and freedom in Alabama and across our great nation. You can help restore America, one state at a time. [Arh!, the three f's. How can I resist sending you my money?]

I am aware that such a challenge will demand great financial resources, so I appreciate your prayerful willingness to contribute. [My what willingness?]

The battle is not to the strong alone, it is to the vigilant, the active and the brave. Together, we will prevail, and with God's blessings we will preserve our civil and religious freedoms for the sake of our children, our grandchildren and our country. [Tell me again why it is that God would tweak the numbers in your favor? And, can we trust that whatever the outcome, it is what God wanted?]

Thank you and May God Bless you and your family, [What's with the capitalizing?]

Roy Moore
Former Chief Justice
Alabama Supreme Court
A call for Alabamians: Support whatever candidate is running against Roy Moore.

7 comments:

  1. I wonder how long you've had this page and yet I am probably the one person thats even bothered to read it. Maybe you aren't as cunning and clever as you like to think.

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  2. It is sad really that you are an adult and have nothing else to do but follow a Christian man around and annoy him like a little child.

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  3. Hey moron, who are you?

    Here's the page stats for this page from Jun 13 when it was published to today:
    Pleiotropy: Defeat Roy Moore for Governor in Alabama
    Pageviews: 30
    Average time on page: 00:02:44

    That doesn't include the visitors who read the post on the main page.

    Maybe I am not as clever as I think. So fucking what?

    I hope that answers your first question.

    I am an adult, but I do have other things to do than blogging about ridiculous Christian men running for office. Read my bio if you're interested. Calling out morons who run for office is not exactly the behavior of a little child, is it?

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  4. Bjorn,

    I am curious about your interest in Alabama politics. I would think that you would have more important things to do with your time than deign to comment on the likes of Judge Roy Moore. It is unlikely that I, an Alabamian who holds a passport, would be able to change your view. However, it is even more unlikely that you would ever change the minds of Alabama voters. In spite of the fact that you clearly feel we are not as enlightened as you, we rarely welcome anyone telling us how to vote. You stated "Don't forget tolerance challenges,...." Why is it that liberals and non-Christians chastise conservatives and Christians for not being tolerant, yet, have so little tolerance for those who do not hold similar views as themselves? I haven't yet decided who I will vote for in our June primary. Why? Because I want to know all I can about each candidate and it was because of this interest that I found your blog. I would have found you interesting had you actually had some facts to share with the readers of your blog instead of simply sharing your self-important opinion. I find it hard to believe that you are as well educated as you claim. Why, you might ask; because of the following response to one to one of your readers: “Maybe I am not as clever as I think. So fucking what?”. Clearly, you sir, are a thoughtful and tolerant man and are completely unlike the narrow minded conservatives you so disdain. I think you are correct; no one should mistake you for a moron.

    Graham Little

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  5. I am curious about your interest in Alabama politics.

    It's not Alabama politics. Local governance affects politics on larger scales. Besides, I like to speak up against inanity anywhere. I think that's healthy, rather than only caring about your own little watering hole.

    Why is it that liberals and non-Christians chastise conservatives and Christians for not being tolerant,

    Because they're not. And because tolerance is important.

    yet, have so little tolerance for those who do not hold similar views as themselves?

    I am tolerant of those with different views, too.

    instead of simply sharing your self-important opinion

    What's so self-important about it?

    I find it hard to believe that you are as well educated as you claim. Why, you might ask; because of the following response to one to one of your readers: “Maybe I am not as clever as I think. So fucking what?”. Clearly, you sir, are a thoughtful and tolerant man and are completely unlike the narrow minded conservatives you so disdain. I think you are correct; no one should mistake you for a moron.

    I am quite well educated if I may say so myself, thank you. Are you under the impression that educated people don't curse?

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  6. Bjorn,

    Thanks for responding; I enjoy the debate and your response actually did change my mind about your purposes. However, I challenge you on your statement that conservatives and Christians (they are not mutually exclusive, by the way) are all intolerant. Because one claims Christianity as his banner does not mean he is a true Christian any more than a Muslim extremist is a true Muslim. There are many throughout history, and today, who say and do things in the name of Christ that are completely contradictory to His teachings. The Christians that I know and am closest to would never condemn the homosexual any more than Jesus condemned the woman at the well who was caught in adultery. Bible thumpers never point out that Jesus, not once, mentioned homosexuality. Yet it certainly had been practiced prior to and during His time on Earth. There are many sins listed in the Bible. We might disagree on whether these things listed are sins, but I would hope that we can agree that it is no human’s job to condemn people.

    You ask if I am under the impression that educated people don't curse. Not at all, I think a well phrased curse word often makes a great point. However, when one is trying to change the viewpoint of others he should not rely heavily on its usage.

    Again thanks for you response and time.

    Graham

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  7. However, I challenge you on your statement that conservatives and Christians (they are not mutually exclusive, by the way) are all intolerant.

    I don't think they all are (I know for a fact they are not all). Just as a group in America disproportionately so.

    We might disagree on whether these things listed are sins, but I would hope that we can agree that it is no human’s job to condemn people.

    I would agree with that, yes.

    Thank you, too.

    ReplyDelete

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