Defeat Roy Moore for Governor in Alabama

Human Events™ - Headquarters of the Conservative Underground - sent me this email from Judge Roy Moore of Alabama. He's running for governor in 2010. My comments in red:

Dear friend, [Well, I'm signed up on their email-list to get the inside scoop, but trust they wouldn't call me 'friend' if they got to know me.]

My name is Roy Moore and you may know me for the battle I waged over a display of the Ten Commandments. [Sure, we remember you were unanimously removed from office by Alabama's Court of the Judiciary in 2003. (I admit I had to look that up.)]

I recently made one of the biggest decisions of my life. I want to tell you personally why I have decided to seek the Republican nomination for Governor of Alabama. [Okay, I can understand why that is a big decision, but he also ran (and lost) in 2006.]

Today I am writing to ask you for your help.

I have chosen to run, quite simply, because our country is careening off course. And neither President Obama nor his advisors have the foggiest notion how to steer her back. [Is there a template that prospective governors use when they write these letters?]

We face challenges in every sphere of American life today-economic challenges, social challenges, foreign policy challenges, leadership challenges, corruption challenges, and challenges to our freedoms. [Don't forget tolerance challenges, equality challenges, universal health insurance challenges, and challenges to the American way of defending the rich against the the rest.]

Please take a moment to support my candidacy by pledging your support. [How about I "support" you through blogging? I saved the whales that way, you know.]

When Barack Obama was elected to the office of President, he promised change - well, we got change! - change social and ecnomic [sic!] conservatives can't believe in, can't live with, and cannot in good conscience pass on to our children and grandchildren. [Well, you know, democracy has a way of ruling against the minority. But don't worry, universal health care will cover conservative bigots all the same.]

My likely Democratic opponent will be Rep. Artur Davis, a good friend of Barack Obama since their days together at Harvard Law School. [Yeah!]

As a good friend of mine said, "Davis fully supports the insanity being promoted by Obama's administration. He's cheering it on. He's supporting it in Congress. He will no doubt be the beneficiary of millions of dollars in campaign contributions from the Obama machine." [What insanity? Everything in the Obama administration is just insane? Like shutting down Gitmo?]

Thats why I'm writing you today, to ask for your support. I know you love America just as much as I do. I'm proud of our godly heritage, our accomplishments, and our form of government. [And proud of never having had a passport, I can only assume. Take a look at the world around you for a different perspective. (I know the world outside America isn't one of the biggest interests of many American conservatives.]

As a graduate of West Point and a Vietnam veteran I knew men who gave their lives for our country. We must not allow others to take from us the rights and liberties for which they died. Duty, Honor, and Country are more than meaningless words and phrases; they give us our national framework and set our country apart, as a city shining on a hill. [Here comes the CV. West Point. Vietnam veteran. Nothing is more esteemed in Alabama than that.]

As former Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, I have the highest regard for the United States Constitution and our state Constitution, both of which every elected official in my state is sworn to uphold. The Bill of Rights was meant to protect our rights of life, liberty and property. We cannot give it up without a fight. [I assume Rep. Artur Davis' regard for those comes in second. That would then be "mediocre regard" for the constitutions.]

Finally, as a husband, father of four, and President of the Foundation for Moral Law in Montgomery, Alabama, I have fought aggressively to eliminate pornography, crime, and drugs while upholding the most critical building block of our society, the traditional family. [This is the juicy bit. Wanna bet that Moore will go missing in Argentina or will be soliciting favors in an airport restroom within the next year? Seems like the Foundation for Moral Law is all about Moore's Ten Commandments display.]

I am prepared to fight. I hope you will join me. [I though he was going to say "pray you will join me."]

Your generous gift will help me restore faith, family, and freedom in Alabama and across our great nation. You can help restore America, one state at a time. [Arh!, the three f's. How can I resist sending you my money?]

I am aware that such a challenge will demand great financial resources, so I appreciate your prayerful willingness to contribute. [My what willingness?]

The battle is not to the strong alone, it is to the vigilant, the active and the brave. Together, we will prevail, and with God's blessings we will preserve our civil and religious freedoms for the sake of our children, our grandchildren and our country. [Tell me again why it is that God would tweak the numbers in your favor? And, can we trust that whatever the outcome, it is what God wanted?]

Thank you and May God Bless you and your family, [What's with the capitalizing?]

Roy Moore
Former Chief Justice
Alabama Supreme Court

A call for Alabamians: Support whatever candidate is running against Roy Moore.